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Vaccinations Cure Cancer

According to the American Cancer Society, the cancer rate in the United States has shown a steady decline over the past 15 years, resulting in more than 650,000 lives saved.

While the report suggests that “early detection practices” and “improvements in treatment” have attributed to decreases in death, I’ve noted a different trend.

According to this position statement from the National Association of School Nurses, the number of recommended vaccines doubled between 1985 and 2000 and could triple in the next 20 years.

Obviously the cancers are being caused by subclinical infectious processes that the vaccinations are now preventing.

Direct evidence that increasing the number of vaccinations decreases the number of cancer deaths.

Take that Jenny McCarthy.

As a side note, why in creation would Oprah allow Dr. McCarthy to blog on her web site about analyzing poop to make sure that there are “no yeast, no bacteria, no infections”? The percentage of bacteria in an average stool is 30%. Heck, if we get rid of all the bacteria, we can just have the astronauts recycle all of their excrement. How novel.

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  1. Oh, now there’s a picture. ;)

  2. Speaking of vaccine hysteria, something bizarre just came up on a messageboard I visit. Ever heard the claim that vaccines are made from the DNA of aborted fetuses? I was so stunned when I heard that I couldn’t even come up with a coherent response.

  3. Maybe Jenny should take a molecular apps class as applied to genetics to smarten up. I am tired of the meme that vaccines cause diseases.
    As for the poop and bacteria, Jenny, DUH.
    On Dookey Day for clinical lab training, we quickly learned to “smell” the types of bacteria….E. coli, listeria, heliobacters. In urine, too, though not as easily. Parasit was even worse…very pungent poops!! To this day, I cannot excrete without thinking E. coli…sad, but true.

  4. There are plenty of excellent reasons to discredit the anti-vaccination crowd and Jenny McCarthy in particular.

    But did you actually read these articles? Because I can’t understand how you’ve made the leap that the increase in pediatric vaccines available in the last 15 years has caused a direct, immediate decrease in cancer mortality.

    That *may* be possible, if all the decrease in cancer mortality was coming from childhood malignancies. But the ACS notes:

    “Decreases in deaths from lung, prostate, and colorectal cancer accounted for nearly 80% of the decline in death rates among men, while decreases in breast and colorectal cancer made up 60% of the decrease among women.”

    These are not pediatric cancers, these are not malignancies commonly associated with infections, and nowhere in the ACS release is any info about vaccinations or pediatric malignancies.

    If you have info that I’m not aware of, please share it. Otherwise, let’s stick to the plenty of provable, reasonable points in endorsing vaccination and debunking folks like McCarthy. When we overreach and claim “vaccinations cure cancer” it opens us up to correction, ridicule and ultimately, dismissal.

    • Thank’s Nick … now I just lost a bet with Mrs. WhiteCoat.
      I thought everyone would get the ironic humor. As in antivaccinationistas made the leap that vaccines cause autism, so evidence based medical practitioners can make the leap that vaccines cure cancer. Apparently my warped humor just ain’t working.
      I won’t quit my day job after all.
      I’ll just stick to blogging about being a smart ass with my patients.

  5. William the Coroner


    It’s been a while, but I believe one vaccine is grown in a transformed human cell line. I think it was from a choriocarcinoma, but I am not sure. Some anti-vaccers complain that bovine serum albumin is used in cell culture fluids, therefore vaccines are also not vegan.


  6. Wow, that Jenny McCarthy link is classique crayzee. “I’m constantly monitoring Evan’s poop and sending it off to the lab to look for signs of disease…”. She also checks her own stool for yeast and “starts herself” on anti-fungals.

    Can you check for hypochondriasis in stool too?

  7. Walking causes autism, silly. Son babbled, said a couple words, walked, no longer talked. Vaccines actually help. Son had mmr dtap in Sep. Best communication since regression that month. I should vaccinate him monthly.

  8. Holy hell, I can’t believe more people aren’t talking about how batshit crazy she is for constantly analyzing poop…. gram stain the poop of a healthy adult and you’ll see lots of bacteria and yeast that’s supposed to be there. It’s a delicate balance, once you start effing with it, you’re gonna screw yourself. I’d be a rich mofo, if I could team up with a shady doc that would order stool cultures and a gram stains of poop…. hey whitecoat. I’d totally invest in the neccesary equipment if you’ll write the orders and pretend to be freaked out when we can culture about a bajillion different bacteria and yeast…. ha… idiots.

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