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Time To Retire Revisited

Remember the doc from “Time to Retire“?

Had a few amusing stories from patients about some of the statements he made while working in the emergency department.

Since that post, I became friends with one of the people working in his emergency department. I keep trying to get that person to start a blog … to no avail. Here are a couple of more stories from reported patient encounters.

A sick kid comes in. I started an IV. Kid is in and out of consciousness. Doc says “let’s tube him.” The mom is freaking out.
I grab the resuscitation bag and hand the doc the Broselow tape. He gives me a blank stare and yells at me.
“What the hell is this?”
Mom and dad look at him then give me a look of terror.
Doc says he’s never heard of a Broselow tape.
Fortunately, the rest of the visit went smoothly and the kid was transferred to the peds hospital across town fairly shortly afterwards.

I see a patient and then mention to the doc, “Hey just wanted to know that the guy in Room 2 has a glass eye on the left.”
Doc says “He isn’t here for a problem with his eye.”
I say “I know, I just didn’t want you to look bad by putting ‘PERRLA‘ in your dictation when one eye doesn’t work.”
Doc says “What the f*** is the matter with you? I’m not even looking at his eyes. The guy is here for a problem with his leg. Stop worrying about my dictations. ”
After the patient was discharged, I look at the dictation. What shows up?
You guessed it: PERRLA.


  1. Oh dear……

    I am retiring soon, my moment of clarity? (This will identify me to any of my colleagues who read this). I was sitting on a 20 year old who had taken “something” – was uncontrollable and we are not allowed to strap people up in UK – so I am holding this person down and suddenly realised; I am 40 years older than you “what the f am I doing?” I hurt for 2 days after that encounter. Time to go.

    Hopefully your colleague will have his own epiphany soon.

    • These are secondhand stories, so I don’t know if they’ve been embellished or not. Still true about introspection and epiphanies, though
      Your story reminded me of a funny story about me restraining a patient a while ago, I’ll have to write that one up (if I haven’t already done so)
      And what’s with the no restraint rule? I’d be calling the police to restrain every whacked out patient who entered the ED. All it will need is for a psych patient to beat the snot out of a politician in some A&E somewhere to get that rule changed.

      • We can hold people down and sit on them and we can give them sedation but we are not allowed to strap people down. Police can be called but we still need to restrain people until they arrive. All our nurses are taught restraining techniques although the doctors don’t bother – that is when staff run the risk of getting hurt because the docs don’t do it right.

        This guy was really just a daft wee boy, he had been cooperative and pleasant until we went to insert a cannula to sedate him then he freaked out. Seemed a bit much at the time to get him a criminal record just for being stupid. Sedated, bedded and sent home the next day once his symptoms had settled. We will hopefully never see him again.

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