“I can’t stop coughing,” said the hacking patient. “I’ve tried Robitussin and Triaminic [hack hack]. They don’t help.”
“I also saw my doctor [hack hack] and got a prescription for Tessalon. That didn’t help either [hack].”
“I went back to my doctor and got a prescription for Cheratussin with codeine. That [hack] helped a little, but I’m out [hack hack]. I’m coughing so hard that I can’t sleep. Is there something [hack] stronger you can give me?”
Three mls of a 1% solution of lidocaine via nebulizer usually works well. Sometimes I’ll even add 1 ml of 0.5% bupivicaine to the solution to extend the duration of its effect.
After about 10 minutes, the symptoms were gone. Success!
“Well, aren’t you going to give me something for home?”
“We can give you a little more Cheratussin with codeine, although I don’t prescribe that too often.”
“I don’t want that. I already told you it didn’t help.”
“I’m assuming you don’t want Tessalon, either.”
“That doesn’t work on me.”
“Honey is shown to improve coughs in kids. You can try that.”
Then he pounds his fist on the counter.
“Jesus! Don’t you people give Dilaudid for coughs any more?”
Nope. No we don’t. Ricola drops. Those help, too.