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Most Funny Moment – REPOST

[Originally posted September 2007]


In keeping with the “Most” theme, this is probably one of the most funny moments I have had at work. I have one other one that I’ll use on another day off when I’m bored and don’t have much to write about. You’ve been warned that this is gross, so read at your own discretion.

One of the nurses with whom I used to work was always giving the docs a hard time. Sometimes it was deserved, sometimes it wasn’t. Either way, it was all in good fun and helped make the ED a fun place to work.

When I first started working there, she used to make a lot of smart-Alec comments towards me. One night a patient came in with a discharge that was presumably a yeast infection. After examining the patient, I asked her whether the lab would do wet mounts and cultures at night. Her reply was “Why – didn’t they teach you what yeast looks like in medical school?” Everybody laughed, thinking she was quite funny. Har harr.

I went back in the lounge to get something to eat out of the refrigerator. Seeing some of the leftovers in the refrigerator, an idea was hatched. I put a small amount of cottage cheese and a little bit of pineapple juice into a specimen container and shook it up really well. Then I put the container into a bag, put a patient label on it, and put it out on the counter.

After a little while I asked the nurse whether or not she was going to send the specimen to the lab. She looked at me and said “what isthat?” I told her it was the discharge from the patient that had left. She asked why we had to send it to the lab if I already discharged the patient. I said “Fine, if you don’t want to send it to the lab, I’ll get rid of it . . .” I then opened the container and tipped it upside down over my mouth, tapped the contents into my mouth, and started chewing.

It was as if someone pulled the drain plug out of her oil pan. Her ruddy complexion turned white and she ran out of the room. Later she said that she went straight to the bathroom and vomicked.

From that night forward, we grew to be good friends.

Here’s to you, Sue!



  1. Ahahahahahaha. Fantastic.

    I’m glad she had a good sense of humor about it.

  2. Not the chocolate pudding in the bedpan ? Or the apple juice in the urinal ?

  3. Okay- since this is a repost, let me continue from open mic-
    ER Doctors that drive us crazy (us other ER Docs)

    “The Late Doc”- he/she is always late. Always. Not 5 minutes- more like 20 to 30 minutes. 2 hours is not uncommon. Always has an excuse. “Traffic” is the usual excuse.

    “Quitting time Doc”. I hate working a night shift after them. They stop seeing patients an hour or two before you get there. The To Be Seen rack is stuffed with patients who have already been waiting in the rooms for 2 hours and are pissed at YOU ! You can never pay them back somehow.

    “I need you to cover for me Doc”- Always wants to switch shifts, they need to come in late or you need to come in early for them. Always. But guess who will NEVER be availale to cover for you when you need it ?

    “I have no life and won’t leave Doc”- stays on after their shift. Will not leave. Even after you suggest, recommend and even threaten them to leave.

    “Slo-Mo Doc”- causes the same problem Quitting time Doc does- leaves you with a lot of unseen mad patients.

    “Extensive Workup Doc”- mentioned frequently per Nurse K. Does enormous workups of everything. Usually has been recently sued and is gun shy but has no problem leaving you patients in the midst of an extensive workup, for you to finish up. I usually cancel half the workup and discharge them.

    “Clueless in Seattle”- Has no clue what they are doing and never will. Tries to do a spinal tap at L5 or T10. Run. Just run.

    Take it away folks !

    • I can’t resist:

      “Candy Man” – Gives everyone narcotics. Even the addicts and those selling them on the street.

      “Bounce Back’ – Often brags about how many patients he sees and how fast he dispos them. But his patients always bounce – and are often worse for the wear. Also “looks down” on those who aren’t as “productive” as he is.

      “The escalator” – Gets into fights with patients, other docs, and administrators all the time. Commonly suffers from “short man syndrome”.

      “Cherry Picker” – Takes all the easy charts and avoids complicated or difficult patients. He is often the same doctor as “bounce back”.

  4. We had an ER MD who worked so slowly that we called him “Dr. Doolittle.”

  5. The “Harvard Doctor”. Frequently reminds everyone ” I went to HARVARD !”. Usually a total tool and idiot. Easy to mess with though and usually the object of practical jokes. Couldn’t pull a greased thread out of his rear end with a tractor.

  6. Lol. Funny, but mean. :)

  7. Excellent WC -Excellent! :)

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