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High School Science Class Fail

Daughter WhiteCoat doesn’t have the stomach for her science class.

They were dissecting a sheep heart in her class not too long ago and she was becoming increasingly queasy. Apparently the sheep had been recently slaughtered because she said that there was still blood in the heart. She was more skeeved because the science teacher was manipulating and dissecting the muscle without using gloves.

She went up to the table where the dissection was taking place, but had to leave the class at one point because she thought she was going to throw up. Mrs. WhiteCoat and I? We can watch surgery while eating a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. Or eggs and sausage.

After the class, several “concerned” classmates came up to my daughter. Instead of consoling her, they said “Eeeeewwww. You have heart juice on your sleeve” or “Gross. There’s heart juice on your notebook.”

Heart juice?

Heart juice?

What the hell is heart juice? It’s called “blood” people. You all fricking fail.

I gave her a bottle of disappearing ink and told her to squirt it on those people’s notebooks, saying that they had crab heart juice on their notebooks (yes, horseshoe crab blood is blue and it contributes to modern medicine), but she wouldn’t do it.

Can’t wait for them to start discussing reproductive system. I’m going to have to send the teacher some smelling salts for use on my daughter.


  1. This story’s ending was hysterical…being in the medical field myself, we never beat around the bush with proper medical terms and avoided nicknames at all costs (it’s a penis, not a “wiener”!). Thinking we were making the kids more comfortable in science and such, though, with this plan was our mistake–none of our three kids enjoyed dissections in science and furthermore, i don’t think i will have a physician in the offspring…good work, yes? LOL Thanks for the laughs.

  2. My wife is an ICU nurse. I am a street paramedic-turned-organ-donor-coordinator. Our oldest daughter HATES anything to do with the body. It’s like that, I guess,

  3. The 2 reel movie “Hemeo the Magnificent” was shown in the sixth grade, and then again in the seventh and ninth grades. The first time I saw that movie I fainted during the scene where they showed a human heart beating. I managed to get through the next two viewings by covering my eyes during that part.

    So ended my plans of becoming a veterinarian.

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