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Cavity Pain

oxycodoneYou’ll probably consider this post non-medical, but I consider it a discussion of anatomy which IS medical.

A New York newspaper article caught my eye. Two New York City miscreants were arrested for drug trafficking. Big deal, right?

The thing that caught my eye was how police found the drugs, the amount of drugs, and where the drugs were located.

First, Ebony Howard and William Waters need to choose their friends better because someone narcked on them.

OK stop there. English majors … what is the proper spelling of “narcked”? “Traffic” adds a “k” to make it “trafficking” (see above). Does “narc” add a “k” to make it “narcked”? Doesn’t look right. Should it be “narced”? That doesn’t look right, either. Or should I just change it to “tattled”? The American Heritage Dictionary doesn’t help much. It only contains the definition of a “narc” being a law enforcement officer who deals with narcotics violations. Now I am getting off track.

So Ebony and William travel to the quaint little Upstate New York town of Waterville to see the sights. But police arrested the couple as they filled up at a Waterville gas station based on a tip that the couple would be traveling to the town to deal drugs.

When police searched the couple, they found 645 oxycodone pills with a street value of $20,000 … packed in to Ms. Howard’s body cavities.

I thought about this. I have a bottle of 500 Tylenol pills that is pretty full and it measures 3 inches in diameter and 5 inches in height. Think of two tennis balls next to each other. I’m having trouble imagining how it would be comfortable taking a several hour car trip and then walking around a gas station with more than two tennis balls worth of contraband in one’s body cavities.

Then there’s the value of the pills. One can get 30mg oxycodone pills (I’m presuming that was the strength of the pills found in Ms. Howard’s cavities) at a pharmacy for about $6 each. According to police reports, the street value of the pills is more than $30 each. Even if someone faking pain in the ED only received 20 Oxys from the visit and then sells the pills, that’s a $500 profit in a few hours — a lot more than most doctors make.

Finally, there’s the manner in which the drugs were found. I need some help from police officers here. If one’s friend is found with a small amount of marijuana and another unknown substance (assumed to be ecstasy) on his person, does that give police sufficient cause to perform a pelvic exam and rectal exam on everyone in the same vehicle?

I’m not condoning what these people did, but just thinking that if police can do body cavity searches based upon an anonymous tip and some drugs found on a traveling companion, “SWATTING” is soon going to take a back seat to “NARCKING” … or “NARCING” – however the hell you spell it.


  1. “One can get 30mg oxycodone pills (I’m presuming that was the strength of the pills found in Ms. Howard’s cavities) at a pharmacy for about $6 each.”

    Not to be a pedant, but the price you gave was for Oxycontin tablets, and it was actually oxycodone which Ms Howard was reported to have had.

    Generic 30mg oxycodone can be got for just 45 cents per tablet. Thus the Walgreens price of the contents of Ms Howard’s $20,000 hoo-ha stash would have been just $290.25.

    As a side note, the crazy street price (and demand) for opiates really puts older cancer patients at risk. We have a friend bought his first ever gun at age 61 after a break-in at his and wife’s home. She had bone cancer and the scum didn’t want the TV, the computer, the jewelery… just any drugs they could find. It’s suggested they might have followed him home from the pharmacy where he had just earlier that evening filled his wife’s painkiller and anti-emetic prescriptions. The “war on drugs” added another new member to the NRA rolls later that week.

  2. That’s just not right. Ick. And Ouch. Maybe she needed to fart and butthole meds blew out like a cannon…

    Do the users get a discount for pills that have been in a vagina or rectum? Or does oxyvagine come at a premium?

  3. To those that don’t care about proper English, and are thus more likely to use the word, I think it’s narc’d.


  4. ER Jedi is right on with narc’d.

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