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Cake Cures Pain?

When you come limping into the emergency department bent over and moaning because your back pain is “definitely 10 out of 10” and is “so bad you can barely move your arms,” then 20 minutes later when the doctor comes to see you in the room, you are sitting on the bed laughing with your visitor and using a fork and plate to eat a piece of a nurse’s birthday cake that you somehow managed to pilfer from our staff break room … it’s a good bet that you are not going to get your Oxycontin prescription refilled.

Nope, you aren’t getting another piece of cake, either.

Now give me back that fork.

This and all posts about patients may be my experiences or may be submitted by readers for publication here. If you would like to have a patient story published on WhiteCoat’s Call Room, please e-mail me.


  1. Yeah, Cake helps. But if you sprinkle some Oxys on top of it, I’d be all cured.

  2. But would they go AWAY if you just gave them the cake to start with?

    I need to try this cake therapy on my own pains…

  3. Don’t be silly. Cake doesn’t treat pain, but clearly it can measure pain. Forget the Pain 1-10 charts and the series of unhappy faces to look at.

    Just put a series of increasingly delicious treats at 2 feet, 4 feet, to 16 feet distance. Then, see how many of them are eaten. Voila, pain measurement.

  4. Now I want cake!! Haven’t had cake since October 5th.

    I hope it was *sacrifice the pain med* worthy. ;)

    Thinking of Elaine on Seinfeld’s episode where Elaine’s boyfriends had to be sponge worthy because sponges being discontinued, she hoarded them for sponge worthy use. Not that birth control has anything to do with cakes ..other than the worthy part.

    Which brings me back to the cake eating. I didn’t realize the eating movements would cause that much pain in a person with back pain. YIKES. I knew sneezing could cause pain to shoot down legs. My heart goes out to people really in that kind of pain.

    “Now give me back that fork.” :)

  5. The amazing cake cure.

    I’ll have to try that in my practice!

  6. Ha, ha, “Let them eat cake”.

    Seaspray. It reminds me of the “Seinfeld” episode when Elaine eats the priceless cake that Mr. Peterman paid an enormous amount of money to procur.

  7. If we could only hand out Turkocet sandwiches in the lobby, we’d get rid of 90% of the annoying patients.

  8. Cake or Death?

  9. I had a going away party years ago from a hospital ER I had worked at. Two patients stole half the cake- one was in for hyperglycemia and the other was NPO for surgery…..

    • The hyperglycemic guy clearly has more experience than you or I in handling high BSLs, so I do not understand your concern.

      And the NPO patient can be kept from aspirating during surgery if anaesthesia is induced by tightening a piano wire around his neck, at about C4-5. That will nicely protect the airway against all manner of substances trying to enter. As a bonus, it will lower /your/ elevated blood pressure, too.

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