The focus of this web site is medicine. In this blog, you’ll read about patient stories. The situations have been changed to be HIPAA compliant. Factual statements may or may not be true. I may change ages, gender or presenting complaints about patients. I may even entirely make up complete patient encounters from my fertile imagination. Trust me, if you think I’m writing about you, I’m not. There are billions of people in this world and readers send me stories about patients all the time. It isn’t you.
You’ll also read a lot about health care policy. I may throw in posts about life lessons, computers, and will even throw in family stories once in a while. If you’re looking for articles about politics, sports, or celebrities, you’re in the wrong place – unless the topics have some relationship to medicine.
If you want to add a guest post or to cross-post something from your blog, or if you have a patient story you want me to write about, e-mail me. See more information in the “About Me” page.
It has been a long time, diary. I can’t even think of all the things that happened since I last wrote. Last time I left off, it was the squirrels. I’m happy to say that they’re gone. Mwuuuuuuhahahahaha. Actually, I’m a chicken shit. I got two types of traps. When I put peanut butter on to the lever of the live trap, I was able to catch a couple of squirrels. The other ones would simply knock the trap over and then grab at the peanut butter through the holes in the cage. So I got a couple of Ortho rat traps and caught the three remaining squirrels using those. One of them died. Two of them just got their legs caught. I made the mistake of telling my youngest daughter that I was going to go and “finish them off” after I caught them. She had nightmares for two days that daddy was killing the squirrels. In reality, I took them a half-mile away and let them go in the woods. What a sucker I am. But at least they’re gone and not chewing holes in my roof. Cracked a tooth while chewing a peanut. That was an experience. First, it happened on a Friday at work, so I couldn’t get into the dentist. I happened to have a temporary filling in my bag that I had purchased over the counter at a pharmacy. It worked amazingly well, and in fact I was considering just leaving it like that. Unfortunately, after visiting the dentist I needed a root canal. That was fun. Also had to have a superficial cancer burned off of my face. I went into the dermatologists office to have it looked at. Two minutes later, she’s putting on gloves and coming at me with a scalpel. That wasn’t too bad. Then she turns around, pulls some canister out of the closet and starts spraying me some Despicable Me – looking freeze ray mist. I think she called it “liquid nitrogen.” That stuff burns like a mother. Imagine the worst case of brain freeze you’ve ever had and then multiply that by about 10. That’s what this stuff felt like when it hit my skull. I could see this being used as a torture tactic when waterboarding stops working. So I got to make up about 15 or 20 different excuses as to why I had a chunk of skin removed from the side of my face. Dog bite. Squirrel bite. Patient attacked me. Son’s lacrosse coach at me with a stick. Shooting accident. Improvised explosive device prematurely detonated (don’t use that one at the airport). Most importantly though, when my fair-skinned kids argue with me about going outside without using sunscreen, I point to my face and ask them “do you want to look like this?” I don’t know whether their immediate assent to sunscreen use is a testiment to my good parenting skills or a reflection of their fear of growing up to look like me. Whatever. It works. Oldest daughter has now started driving. Dad has now started drinking before he takes her out driving to calm his nerves. Seriously. I just sit here and wonder whether or not I was as bad of a driver when I was starting out. I don’t ever recall running over curbs when turning a corner. I distinctly remember stopping very quickly when a crash is imminent. In our short time driving together, we’ve had several near misses. It is going to be a long time before she drives alone. And fortunately my life insurance is up to ...Read More »