Latest Posts

Voices Carry

Wisecracking doc that I work with recently had a little surprise.  He was walking down the hallway and saw a nurse escorting a mother and her overweight young daughter into a room. Daughter was holding her right eye.  When the patient’s registration was completed, he signed up for the patient, took a swig of coffee, and said “OK, looks like it’s time to go see what’s wrong with Honey Boo Boo‘s eye.”  A couple of the nurses chuckled and he ...

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Hurry Home

  First of all, I’m having blog withdrawals. Seriously. I wish I could make a living writing a blog. It would be my dream job to write blog posts and troll the internet. Maybe some day. So a quick story before I go to bed for another long day tomorrow. At one of the hospitals where I moonlight, many nursing homes refer patients to the emergency department for routine medical care. Stuff like “patient has a rash for a week” or ...

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Eeew-perman

One of many ambulance transfers included a 80-ish year old nursing home patient who was sent by the night staff at the nursing home because they were too busy he had mental status changes. When the patient arrived, he seemed OK to me. Awake, alert, smiling. Held a relatively normal conversation. Watching the news on television. He even grabbed the remote and muted the sound when I came into the room. Unfortunately when a patient gets sent from the nursing ...

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Patient Encounters

The Doctor That Took Care Of The Lawyer That Sued Him

By BirdStrike M.D.   I walk in for a shift and sign up for my first patient.  To my surprise the patient sitting on the bed is my friend and co-worker Dr. Jerry.  Before walking into the room, I notice from afar, his hand is grotesquely swollen, black and blue.  I walk in to the room and say with a chuckle, “Jerry, what the heck are you doing here?  You are supposed to be on vacation.  Wow, you must really ...

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Revenge Best Served with Hot Lead

A young guy gets brought in with a non-life-threatening gunshot wound to his arm. The police were called and the patient had no idea who shot him. After the police left, the patient admitted that his own friend shot him. He was sent home that night. Not 45 minutes after my shift started the next day, the patient’s “friend” comes in with a GSW to the leg. Guess who the perp was. Can’t you just smell Jack Daniels and hear ...

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Cake Cures Pain?

When you come limping into the emergency department bent over and moaning because your back pain is “definitely 10 out of 10” and is “so bad you can barely move your arms,” then 20 minutes later when the doctor comes to see you in the room, you are sitting on the bed laughing with your visitor and using a fork and plate to eat a piece of a nurse’s birthday cake that you somehow managed to pilfer from our staff ...

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No Deal

There are a few times in emergency medicine when you know that a patient is either very sick or very injured. When you see a car screech to a halt in the ambulance bay and then see people get out of the car and start running about haphazardly, it is generally a good bet that the person still in the car is in need of immediate medical assistance. When a car drives by the emergency department entrance and pushes someone ...

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